laying in bed, counting my in out breath

i read somewhere, not sure where, but for hero level survivalism, lengthen the count, after the out breath, and before the in breath, i can do a few counts, but pain yeh, pain i don't understand, and might not make you any stronger....

yoga breath count says to do only a few, and that other writing i read i don't know where,

...anyway i feel like a deformed sensitive thing in the shape i feel of that ,of that imaginary subliminal body

almost daily i tell myself i'm too slow

what is the pain telling though????

i'm not actually missing out on much though am i?

i'd enjoy living a higher level lifestyle of course

but what opportunity is that?

i've passed many challenges,

build lego, bake cake, install solar power, paint a masterpiece, complete jigsaw puzzles, provide fresh air, build wood furniture, knit gloves, knit socks, knit beanies, knit scarves,

and i've done that, without congratulations and reward certificates

but you have done good, very good